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Dating an alcoholic in recovery when to kiss when first dating

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Someone with less than a year sober should stay focused on their recovery program, not dating.This guideline is designed to protect the addict as well as the people they might date.Tatkin has seen many online dating success stories.But, like other ways of meeting someone, he says it’s a “roll of the dice.” It’s important to carefully vet a prospective mate and avoid feeling too familiar too quickly.Successful recovering addicts and alcoholics will have learned much about the importance of honesty and open communication during their rehabilitation process, and this can carry over into their relationships with those to whom they become close.But when addicts and alcoholics suddenly begin closing down and become reticent to share what they are thinking and feeling, or to talk about what is happening in their lives, this is most likely a sign that something is wrong.In working with the spouses and significant others of addicts, I’ve often heard it said, “I’d rather be an addict than love one.” While few people would ever walk eyes-wide-open into a chronic disease like addiction, the statement speaks to the confusion, loneliness and despair common not only among addicts but also the men and women who love them. In fact, addicts who are solid in their recovery can make excellent partners.A history of addiction doesn’t necessarily turn Mr./Mrs. They’ve waged a courageous battle, spending a great deal of time working to take care of and improve themselves.

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In looking at the experiences of others, what we can say is that many who have formed romantic partnerships with former substance abusers have come to regret that decision immensely, while others have been able to establish satisfying permanent relationships with those who have successfully put their past addictions behind them.Recovering substance abusers often possess excellent attributes that are forged by the intensity of their personal experiences.They are often very compassionate and non-judgmental in their relations with others, will not shy away from confronting difficult problems head on, and will usually be right there to help those they love through their own darkest hours.Before diving into a relationship, find out if your prospective partner is actively using drugs or alcohol, or if they display addictive or compulsive patterns in other areas (e.g., gambling, work, sex, food or spending).If you care about someone in active addiction, help them into treatment and hold off on turning a friendship into more until they’re grounded in their recovery.When people become sober it opens up a world of possibility.